Wrong side of the road

When the kids are buckled into their carseats (against their will!) and shrieking at decibals that cause dogs to cry, something inside you snaps and so does your head! You take your eyes off the road, try to adjust the situation with a drink or blanky or anything to comfort them. In that mili-second you refocus to find you are now across the white line. Or taking your half of the street out of the middle. It happens so fast, most often we are never too far from safety but still we put ourselves and loved ones at risk.

You're sitting at work, exhausted from the late night up with a teether, having rushed through your morning routine with minimal time for politeness to your spouse,in fact somewhat irratated by their all about ME morning ritual. A male co-worker asks how you are doing. He takes the time to listen to you vent. It's nice to feel heard. And somewhere in your heart you know it's important to have a safe place to just relax with the day to day concerns- But you need to keep your eyes on the road. Stay safely on your side!

As a married women with many friends, I have often heard both sides of the same accident. When our gaurd is down, because we have a nature to share, we will tell male co-workers about our home life and frustrations.We also can feel uncomfortable telling the opposite sex to seek out other men or friends to reveal themselves and their trials (no matter how trivial)to for support.We as christian women need to honor our co-workers Families and protect them and ourselves from crossing lines of improper behavior.

Think about this, how would you feel if your spouse ran you down to other women? You would not appreciate the betrayal I can assure you. Not to mention the fact that when we act in such a way it causes a mental comparison of the things we recieve outside the covenant that we should be sharing inside of it to better know our selves and our partners.

This open society of liberated womanhood has created freedom to speak about everything from pms to sexuality in the hearing of men. But it bears with it a responsibility to uphold the decency of our disscussions with other women only. ( Unless you talk to a Dr. or a Minister or counselor)

Years ago Playboy Magazines used to be covered by Brown paper so as to not offend or corrupt. Topics that are of a personal nature are Brown paper topics ,only to be reviewed with a select and small circle. They expose something more private than skin, they expose the heart.

I have caught a few TV programs (night time soaps) and the formula to add stress to any relationship is the same. Some innocent disscussion between opposite sex friends confiding in each other on personal issues , brings the relationship into a prepatory phase for exiting a marriage. Self doubt, kind response, more frequent contacts and the match gets lit.

If you truelly want passion, understanding and genuine acceptance then take courage to find time, words and oppertunity to create more than the mundane in your own marraige. Make it worth your while to fight the calander and clock to include you mate and girlfriends. Yes, girlfriends! A few good girlfriends can help defuse a hostile situation and laugh or cry with understanding and prayerful accountability. A few good girlfriends will take the edge off your irritability. So when you do have time for hubby, it's more relaxed and productive in renewing your relationship.

Buckle up for safety and keep your eyes on the road. Your kids will thank you for it!!!

Freedom

About twenty years ago, my weekly womens study group had gathered for a prayer and fellowship Tea. One young women shared through sobs and tears how her husband ignored her as a result of weight gain. We all felt her pain, we all understood the rejection that was overwhelming her and limiting her participation in other areas of ministry. We reached out and wrapped our arms around her fervently praying for God to soften her husbands heart. We encouraged her by our love for her. After all others completed sharing and praying we had refreshments in the kitchen. It was at this time I went over to her to socialize. At first glance we both felt relaxed and refreshed. A white hot shock went through me as I looked at the plate in her hands. It was filled with cakes and sweets. Without thinking I took the plate from her hand and thew it in the trash. I then said " I won't let you hurt anymore". She began to cry and immediately left the gathering.

I can't begin to tell you how horrible I felt at this confrontation. Others there just stood in shock and disbelief. I wasn't gonna get any nominations for Miss congeniality so I finished my coffee said good-bye and went home. Home to rerun the words over and over in my mind. I begged God to show me what was in my heart. What had I done?

The following month this woman was visibly absent as we all had left messages and continued to pray for her. She had gone into a caccoon of sorts. Finally, she showed up at a scheduled meeting TWENTY pounds thinner!!! She had done alot of soul searching and gave testimony that at the moment I confronted her the Holy Spirit fell on her to account for remaining a prisoner of her own making. She thanked me for being an instrument of truth and suffering silently as she sorted out her motives and cleaned out her thinking to come in line with the new work of the Holy Spirit over her circumstances.

Her husband did not really change toward her, but she had changed in her level of expectation of him. She had started to use more powerful speech about who Christ was as the ever present partner in her life. She also realized that oppression and depression are subltle chains that had her lost in unhealthy and toxic behaviors.

I learned alot from that "Big Mouth" call to ministry. The truth shall set you free!! Not my truth, not your truth, but the pure and heavenly truth sent to us as a gift of the Holy Spirit! We hear it in scripture, we recognize it in the actions of others who continue to pave a way for us to follow, we sense it in our inner being when we are hungry enough to ingest it. And we hate that it feels like a death inside us, that we are unsettled with the status quo we've adopted. We are required to wash in it and be renewed. Some have said that the truth hurts , well that is a fact . It will continue to untill the outer man gives no resistance to the priority of our inner man.

There is a person inside of us all that operates on Spiritual food. Not the outer man-the shell, we wrongly treasure. But the core of Christs life, alive ,miraculous in it's ability to sustain us as healthy, whole and capable. We just need to know The One whose name is Truth- Jesus!!

When it all breaks down

This past year has been a challange to say the least. Things in a busy household don't last forever. We've had our ceiling fan, dishwasher and Ford windstar bite the dust. We've needed to call a plumber to repair both kitchen and bathroom water fixtures. We've had minor home repairs to make as well as 2 major appliances to replace.

Now I'm not shy about doing my own repairs. I kind of like the challange of puzzles. And as long as there are instructionals, I will follow directions. But some things just need to be worked out by proffessionals. In theory, directions followed should bring about the anticipated result of a working fixture. But whats up with the extra nuts and bolts after all has been done? I seem to have this sense of accomplishment when the fix takes, yet the package still has these extra parts that send an underlying feeling I might have missed something.

Anyway, I usually toss all the left over parts into the toolbox , or place them in the garage just in case. Months later I can't even identify the need for most of them! But I hang on to them as a type of insurance against any malfunction. That is the girl scout in me.

This is a reoccurring theme in many areas of my life. Holding on to the little bits and pieces of fabric long after a garment is sewn, just in case it tears. Keep all buttons that come with a new sweater of jacket. File all reciepts for purchases just in case a return is needed.

I suppose this behavior stems from experience. And mine of course tells me that someday I will need to replace the worn or broken with an extended timeline. As I ponder putting things back together, I find a simple peace. One that tells me I have all that I might require to get the job done.

The real question I face is not about being prepared to work at something, but when to get rid of something that isn't working! I'm speaking metaphorically here. Of course I know when a lamp is trash worthy, but what of the long term relationships that are in constant need of a fix? Are you a fixer? Do you believe that there is a way to repair or mend the brokeness you see in someones life? I can honestly say that it is important to evaluate how limited we are without the manual I call "The Bible".

First it reminds me that I am the one who needs Jesus to repair the world worn heart and mind inside of me. Then it offers me a remedy through His forgiveness of my sins. I rely on Jesus as my salvation. Only in Him am I new and whole again. Jesus is all I have to offer to others. His love ,His word, His truth. It is this life of a carpenter, a crafter, repairer, builder -inside me that restores.

Perhaps you are struggling with friends that are sucking the joy out of your life. There are those who want a fix ,but they don't want to do the work. It's O.K. to offer the extra nuts & bolts, the things and times that won't leave you depleted. Some times you need to identify some relationships as negative impacts on the other areas of your home family and personal life and set up boundries. Other times you MUST give them up completely to God to restore.

Like I said before, some jobs are for the experts! Jesus is an on call 24/7 , repairman. His knowledge of the human heart and mind are superior to all, His work is permanent and excellent.

Peters Porch

Recently the members of our church have embarked on a mission to offer clothing to those who might need it. We have collected, sorted and racked an incredible amount of items to offer our community for no cost. The men in our church began this endeavor last summer and to date we have serviced many needs by hosting 3 open give away dates.

Believe it or not, the local community here has brought in about 200 people each date to recieve not only clothing but on 2 occassions food as well. There are so many situations surrounding this great need that we are helping to meet. Some include the handicapped on strict budgets as well as young families hard pressed by this current economy. Other stories show us that none are exempt from losing a job. A few households are also stretched to meet basic needs as other bills arise or conditions change.

With this in mind, I am thoughtful of that God is no respector of persons. There is no distinction of rich or poor in uncertain times! We who are givers today may be the recievers tomorrow. And so we need to humble ourselves in the investment we make toward serving with the right heart motive that all who recieve are welcome as we would feel the truth of Christs love in the provision of our needs.

The greatest joy I have been experiencing during the times I volunteer to sort clothing is the fellowship with other workers in the mission. I have met new people, laughed with old friends and deepened my relationships with other parisheners.

So much can be accomplished through this kind of outreach, things that change hearts and lives. If you are not aquainted with some small act of partnering with the outside community to feed the hungry, visit the sick, clothe the naked or go to the prisons , you have not yet done anything for Christ our Lord! That is not to ever imply that He has not done anything for you! He does not look for any repayment. He simply has shown me that friendship with Him connects my heart to His concerns. I want to share all the ups and downs in my life deeply with my friends. Don't you?

Search your own heart and see where it may take you to. Six months ago none in this cause would have guessed we were being led to impact our neighbors or ourselves in such a dramatic way.

Jeremiah 29- I know the plans I have for your welfare and not for your calamity , says the Lord!

Weather Report

It's cold outside! It kind of makes you want to hunker down with a favorite sweater and book or movie and curl up on the sofa eating junk food and sipping cocoa. There seems to be a real stillness about the neighborhood and a starkness in the landscape. Everything moves in slow motion including me.

Yet, the little girls next door are rolling around with their new puppy in the hard frosty morning grass. They don't seem very concerned about the nip in the air! They have that wonderful youthful energy and playfulness that matches the puppys. They joyfully run and jump and frolic as if it were spring again.

I sit here wanting to move with that kind of freedom and abandon. I think of all that could be accomplished if that energy were mine. Not to mention the flexibility they posess! And then it hits me, it is not the weather that slows me or my pace, it is however the mental restrictions I am considering based on the weather report.

I wonder when it became such an important consideration to consult the weather channel to define my activity level. Granted we should use some caution if conditions are dangerous or as a prompt to insulate. But to pawn off my agenda based on how I percieve my limits before I even step outside is simply masking an underlying motive to avoid moving toward my daily goals.

It is on days like this that I must tell myself to be an ant! The steady and purposeful movements that accomplish each step as a progression to success. Little steps add up to many miles. It matters in health, relationships, finance, chores, diet, just about everything!

When I was younger I remember throwing myself into projects with complete abandon( like the little girls) giving priority to all that I focused on. Sometimes that meant juggling other areas of my life. I guess I would expend so much energy on one thing at a time that I would lose sight of other day to day operations in such a way that when I caught my breath and looked around me little things had been neglected.

I'm not a little girl anymore! I'm a mature women who knows the value of pacing myself like an ant! I can see my goals ahead, I can move with purpose, I can calculate the time investment without losing what has already been invested on previous tasks.

In the Proverbs we are reminded to "look to the ant " to understand acheviement! To prepare for future success, to throw off laziness, to accomplish much. God has called us to dilligence , He has called us to perseverence, procrastination has no place in our vocabulary. And so even though we want to blame the weather for holding us back( or any other excuse,you can fill in the blank) the truth will always be that we were created to recieve a filled up life one day at a time , one decision at a time , one step at a time and one bite at a time, one kind deed at a time. We must choose to make that time happen now!

May each day of this New year bring about a new you as each word, work and act of will propell you toward Gods good plan for your future in 2009.

Kingdom by Vanessa Redman Thorp

Palace of the King
Built in the chambers of my heart
Your kingdom here on earth within me

The light that burns so deep
Holy Spirits work a part
With gifts and warmth that free me

The King stands at the door
Generously giving more and more
Out of my very life ,I am amazed

As His voice of Love cries out
My mind, my will yeild and obey
Not this world ,but of His Way

Kingdom of Christs rule
Built from living stones
Strengthened as a wall with firm foundation

Love that mortars all
Gods eternal power alive
Making precious gems from pressured dust

Silent Night

There is a science to picking out the right mattress, pillows and bedding. The promise of a perfect nights sleep hangs over a shoppers head as one carefully purchases and prepares an inviting sanctuary to rest in. Decorating experts declare wall color can have a tranquil effect on mood (hospitals have used this info for years).

I must say that in spite of any best effort to employ a comfortable environment, certain variables in young families prevent a good nights sleep! When my babies were arriving, I had no idea how quickly sleep deprivation would distort my ability to maintain mental and physical balance. I remember feeling like my energy levels would never come back up, my focus was on constant care of the little ones needs, and I mean constant!

Diaper changes, feedings, teething, colds, ear infections, and mixed up days and night time schedules would reap a dragged out mommy. My life became a six year push toward a real nights sleep. It was at this time I became more vulnerable to mood swings and irritability. I argued with my husband over which one of us got to nap on the weekends or whose turn it was to answer the midnight cry of a little one. I felt like a walking zombie at times!

I had to learn that conserving my own energy was of major importance during those years. I also remember my support network of other mommies helped me to not place myself in some kind of defeated position. I even grew comfortable with what I called"parralell parenting". I had two girlfriends that would visit with thier children, we would share the task of diapering, rocking and holding kids, addressing booboos, and preparing meals and snacks a couple times a week while our husbands worked. We also folded each others laundry, ran a vacuam, washed a few dishes and allowed each other time for errands. We had one thing in common, we had no family around us to support us in the day to day needs. We became sisters in the cause! We barely got the chance to finish a sentence, but just being in it together seemed like an unspoken answer to prayer. This was my cavalry! The reinforcements would arrive in our lives. The days would seem less tiring, the kids would have all the attention they required and the household tasks would become less tedious and demanding. A certain groove was felt by us all as we shared each others load.

We didn't all have the same style of parenting, but we did all trust and respect each others boundries. So we modified our times together to reflect tolerance of a corperate nature that if one child could not have, none would! If one child required certain structures and rules all would. I mean, for the sake of the benefit we mommies received 2-3 days a week, the children could do without certain freedoms they enjoyed in their own homes and learn to accept different rule and authority. But most of all we loved each other and deeply cared for the needs of each others families and lives.

You probably are wondering what this all has to do with a good nights rest? I can't promise anyone that! But I can tell you that it does help to know you are not alone, it does renew your energy to have accountablility to others about where your head is at when you are cranky and tired from those who see you and care about you on a regular basis. And " many hands make light work", so you can be more than you might have thought to all who depend on you.

One of my favorite prayers is a simple one word expression "HELP". If you try it, be prepared to receive it! You may still be tired but you will "sleep in heavenly peace"!

In Galations it says"bear ye one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ"