Ring Toss

Games are a big part of our culture. For centuries peoples of all nations have been either participants or spectators to sports, tournaments, and various challenges. Even this week our " World Series " took place and many entered this arena supporting their favorite team.
Excitment grows when two strong men arm wrestle. Adreneline rises as quizbowl youth face off. Voices escalate in my own family room as video games and rock band are played! Everybody wants to be or see a winner!

Yesterday I lead a group of wheelchair bound residents in a scheduled activity. The time was slotted for Ring toss. I positioned the chairs in a circle , I passed out some light weight rubber rings and had them take turns at the targets. We went around the circle throwing and missing for about an hour. Each player encouraging of one another, until it was Mrs. F's turn.

Mrs. F would not release the ring, try as she might to extend her arm and adjust her grasp, she kept telling us she couldn't let go! After about 20 minutes of this same complaint I asked her what was wrong with her hand. She responded " it works just fine, I can't let go until you place the target within my reach, I don't want to miss it". As the group made comments to the effect of passing her turn up and getting on with the game I had to admit to myself how trivial a game it was. Next time around I placed the target directly below Mrs. F's hand and it landed on the ring. This kept the group happy, to allow them less distraction and a return to a faster pace.

On my way home from work that night I thought about this scenario. The spirit of God quickened to me a personal message based on Mrs. F's behavior. How many times do I hold on to trivial things in my life that I make more important then they need to be? Why do I sometimes take hostages in having things done my way? Am I so rigid that if everything is not set up correctly I can't enjoy it! Let me tell you, I immediately searched my heart and found a few areas that I needed to apply repentance to.

Having returned to the workforce on a "floating schedule" I can't be in controll of anything but my response to daily challenges. I need to come up in the area of " good attitude". I thought I was doing pretty well prior to this moment of revelation, and then I got this real epiphany. All I can do is all I can be at any given moment! I have no secret to my own strength, ability or talent. What I may possess is only part of the life of the triune God at work through me as I allow it. I don't need doors to be opened for me, I need to open doors in my heart and mind to allow the free movement of the Holy Spirit. Victory is only mine because Christ has shared His triumph with me!

Home Sweet Home

As a child my life was so transient, we moved often due to the financial burdens placed on a struggling household. I'm sure that even as a young mother I endured many relocations for the same reason. It does not surprise me, although it might you, that I have lived in some 30 something locations to date.

Adapting to new environs has becaome second nature to me so much so, that even though my current address hasn't changed for 16 years, I still move my furniture every time I deep clean my house! I think it makes everything feel new. I also paint my walls every 3 years to recreate the space I call home. Some may think of home as a place where you can rely on things not to change, but in my experience it is the very change that makes me excited!

I have learned that it is not the comfort of the familiar I depend upon for the feeling of "home", more like the comfort of family! As long as I am surrounded by the voices, expressions, and personalities that are such a part of me, I am at home. I am at home when visiting siblings out of state. I am at home when present with dear friends. I am at home with my grandchildren wherever we find ourselves at play. All because I am at home with my Lord and God!

Many followers of Christ look to the future to be "home"after a life of service has ended on this earth! I believe too in a prepared place beyond this world. Except I also believe that we ABIDE in him! Jesus is our home here on earth! We are never without the blessed comfort afforded us by his Holy Spirit. He is a resident in our hearts and minds and continues to allow us to also recognize the outer protection and provision that is supernatural and invisible to the naked eye.

It is Jesus that prepares a precious meal of the bread and cup for me to dine with Him. It is my Lord who laughs and cries with me, it is the Son of God who calls me his sibling! Home is where the heart is , and so having given mine to Christ, He has taken up residence and has rooted me in the community of His love for all those I call brothers and sisters of faith!

Home Sweet Home! John 15" Abide in me and I will abide in you".

Gossip Girl or Gospel Girl?

I admit that for a while, I've been in a bit of a bubble. My concerns and experiences have been of a personal nature. My time spent with intimate friends and family. My energies applied to mostly isolated encounters, one on one chats or encouraging group activities. So as I returned to the workforce this past week ( a huge company) I was not prepared for the petty nuances in the workplace.

My employment is in the health care arena, specifically an assisted living facility. I come into contact with all manner of service oriented workers. And let me first say this, it is a priveledge to be amongst those who serve this country on the front lines (The hardest emotional battlefield of life). Daily facing the enemy of apathy, sacrificing personal space and pride to bring dignity to those who have gone before us and now depend on us down to the most humbling of actions. But, having been in the bubble I forgot how personalities can produce friction when rubbed the wrong way!

The very smallest of actions between co-workers can be fanned into a tremendous flare up when repeated to an itchy ear. The right words can become the wrong ones when a recanting of anothers circumstance is colored with opinion. The observations of a "not clued in" bystander can taint the perceptions of grace in action. Even the introductions to staff can present a jaded history not yet a part of my own experience with that relationship! One week into the job and my head is already spinning! Not because I worry about performance of duties, but because I need to take out the trash that is being dumped all over my heart to serve!!! I must remain dilligent in guarding my heart against the onslaught of this verbal pollution.

I could create allies, team up with those who have the most pull or influence. I could speak out against the behaviors that seem inappropriate. I could even just ignore it all and go about my own business. But if I want to truelly walk in the love and power of God, I must rely on the Holy Spirit to stir me and direct me in each instance. Only God can know the way to my heart, only he can reveal to me how to be effectual to each person that is devinely called to be part of my journey. And only God can reach others through me! So I must become an empty vessel every day, that I might be refilled with the new wine of his spirit, ready to be poured out again and again.

Create in me a clean heart Lord and renew a right spirit within me, cast me not from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me!

Story Time

I love to read, as a matter of fact I love it so much that I will even read the dictionary! As I sit here at my computer, I am surrounded by stacks of books I've read and often re-read. The public library is better than shopping at the Mall for me( Actually anything is better then shopping for me!) I can lose myself in the smell of old print and the catagorical presentation of subjects.

I believe this deep connection began in me as a small child in kindergarten. Storytime had me fixated on images and characters from far away places of someones imagination. But the best thing I liked was the voice of the librarian as she made each page come to life. I didn't want to miss one word of text, I always tried to sit in front to view the illustrations up close. I was and still am transported to places and situations that imprint my soul.

When my children were potty training, I used sitting time as a tool to read and reward them for their efforts. We would stay bathroom bound with stacks of books even after the mission was accomplished. To this very day I keep a Bible on the tank of each commode to allow undistracted oppertunity for reading! I have often encouraged friends who need more discipline in daily devotion and Bible literacy to place a copy in the bathroom! We all need to retreat there at some point in our day! And so, the quiet and seperated space can lend itself to a necesary connection with the Word of God. And since I can no longer read my children bedtime stories, I allow them to search scripture by putting it out there where they can help themselves to as much as they want or need.

Now I must say that this practice has been confirmed for me and my household as a valid source of inspiration. Many an epiphany has taken place after a nature call. Truelly it has become a call to a new nature of spirit as well. There are even times when a family member will leave a passage open or marked for the next visitor! This can provide a gentle sharing of the word without confrontation, so to speak. A reminder to place love above all else, a psalm of praise to God to refocus our victories as from him and not ourselves, even a marked parable to help us reorient our path. In few short moments as these, we become re-centered on our real source of knowledge and truth. We are cognisant of trusting God for what we don't have answers for, or we are open to recieve the answers we want to avoid!

The first time I ever read the bible all the way through, I was 20 years old and it was a childrens picture story bible. A gift to my infant daughter upon her dedication in church. I knew that with such an important vow as to train her up in Gods word I needed to understand the power of this written history of Faith. What I realized in having finished this bible storybook was in itself the most incredible portrait of a loving father I had ever seen! My desire to know a real relationship with him has since been through daily correspondence via his precious son Jesus and the letters of the New Testament.

I pray you will burn with such a passion for "storytime" and come as a child to get a front seat.

I Wait by Vanessa Redman Thorp

I wait
I wait for a glimpse of you dear Jesus
I stand in the crowd of those who have heard
you are coming!
Excited, I wait.

I Know
I know you will pass this way my Rabbi
I long to listen to your words of truth,
your teachings.
Open, I wait.

I Cry
I cry ,I weep, I confess
I sob for all I have forsaken, all I've taken
I want to make it right with you
Forgiven, I wait.

I Trust
I trust that you will restore me, make me new
I place my life into your hands
I sense a freedom from all worldly woe
Peacefully, I wait.

I Follow
I follow you, the Great Shepherd
I come into the goodness of your care
I am safely kept in your sight
Sheltered, I wait.

I Praise
I praise you for you are all I need
I sing of all your kindness and love to me
I worship you with all my heart contains
Joyfully, I wait.

I Wait
I wait each new morning for you
I wait throughout the changing days
I wait as years toll upon my face
In your presence, I wait.

Gym Membership

My youngest daughter is a fitness freak! She has always been an energetic and enthusiastic sportsman. She could climb our radiator pipes to the ceiling by eighteen months of age, and has not stopped challenging herself or others since!

Last week she dragged me down to the gym and bought me a membership as a combined gift (she was going to get the power tools I wanted so badly for mothers day and my birthday!) . But the furniture refinishing projects I envisioned, never took place because of time constraints. And so she felt that I needed something more personal to challenge myself and prepare myself for a long and strong entrance into middle age.

I must say that I always thought of myself as an active women. Able to rise to physical feats appropriate to age and energy. Let me also say that my daughter is a sophmore in college with the goal of becoming a Physical Therapist. I think she has targeted me to confirm her own gifts and develope her calling.

The first day at the gym was exciting. I put on the cute new workout clothes she bought me, and looked like I belonged there, ready for action. She gave me a tour, as well as instructions on the cardio programmable equipment. She set me up and patted my back and said "Don't stop, push past the pain, you're stronger than you know". Five minutes into the cycle, I thought I needed a break, but with her at my side I didn't dare slow or quit! She kept a constant verbal stream of encouragement coming my way. She didn't leave me for a second. I wanted so badly to do all she had planned and not dissapoint her because of the tremendous oppertunity she was offering me with this gift! But it was harder then I thought, more uncomfortable then I wanted to endure, more difficult then fun.

After a 30 minute cardio workout, I was beet red in the face, saturated in sweat and panting for water to cool my dried throat. I felt all rubbery in my legs, and cramped in my hands from the death grip I had on the handles, the only thing holding me up those last 10 minutes. After a short time of stretching, I was ready to head home. It was then that she announced "phase 2" of the workout. The cardio was the warmup! She then had me do abdominal crunches in 10 different positions until I could not even pick myself up off the floor. Another short break and "phase 3" weight training!!! I finished all that she required of me and she gave me a big hug and told me I surprised her by keeping pace. The only thing she wanted me to grasp and change was the contstant limits I set on myself. She said" You are telling me that you can't do anymore, and that mindset will stop you from pushing the limits, you can stop when you pass out or throw up, otherwise your body does what YOU tell it to do!"

I must admit I was a bit shocked at the harsh attitude she was presenting with that exhortation. But I was also amazed that I had accomplished more then I ever considered. I was a bit sore, but as she reminded me, "get used to it- no pain, no gain"!

In the book of Hebrews, the 12th chapter, verses 1-3, it says" Let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up."(NLT)

I recieve this scripture on so many levels today as I meditate on the current challenges set before me, relational, physical, mental, and spiritual. I know I must keep my eyes on Jesus!! I hear the Holy Spirit calling me to walk on water so to speak, to not just stay afloat but to rise up and move in new ways. To allow my spirit to be free of the earthly laws of physics, in limit setting! I truelly understand that there is a joy that will come AFTERWARD! But the discipline of practicing faith without doubt means you must push through the painful earthly forces. Obstacles, added stress, stretching in new directions, can all seem a bit overwhelming. But you don't go it alone. See the face of Christ encouraging,cheering you on. Hear his excited voice say this is the way walk in it. Feel the gift of his prescence by your side as you push harder against the unholy influences that want to derail you today!

He left us with our own personal trainer- The Holy Spirit , who will reveal all things to us, Praise the Lord!

Him who has ears, let him hear!

We are all created so intricately. Made with intimate details that only a divine benefactor could have installed. We possess certain endowments that help to define us throughout our journey. I have come to know my "special superpower" as hearing!

I know some of you might find this a bit crazy to say the least, but as a child, I was aware of having big ears! They kind of caused me to feel like a taxi cab with the doors left open. I was teased a bit but learned to wear my hair a little fuller around my head so as not to make them appear so prominent. As I grew I also recognized how sensitive my hearing skills were. I was bothered easily by low level noises around me. I could pick up on many different conversations and background disturbances easily! This is a blessing and a curse. On one hand you can be overwhelmed by the things you are not supposed to be aware of , sharp piercing blasts at high frequencies, slight changes in volume, distinct betrayals of actions taking place around you. On the other hand you have a built in sense of connection to activity on a more conscious level than simple observation.

Absolute silence is a gift to someone like myself. It is a rare moment that all is still and quiet. I find that even in the middle of the night the sound of a light switch coming on can awaken me. If a fan is whirling it creates such a distraction from peace in my space. My children used to wonder how I knew everything going on around me when they were out of sight and range, I could hear the change in there voice frequency and fine tune to their words even when behind closed doors.

The practice of finding a quiet place to unload all the activity in my brain became such an important part of my day, that I needed to awaken before dawn and remain up after the house settled to give myself a space and place to rest.

I grew in the " Be still and know that I am God " place. I began to hear Him speak as I emptied all other daily"noise " out in those early sessions. It was His words I would meditate on and wait for! All the stuff on the outside would slip away. And I would relinquish myself to a peace that cannot be found apart from in His prescence.

God Speaks! He has a voice that is soft, it is warm and tender! You can't hear it while internally ranting, you can't hear it when mentally absent, you won't hear it if always distracted. But when you take the time to allow him to have a say, and you are not desiring a - get to the point, one word answer, I think you'll be amazed at the things He truly wants to share with you personally!