Home Sweet Home

As a child my life was so transient, we moved often due to the financial burdens placed on a struggling household. I'm sure that even as a young mother I endured many relocations for the same reason. It does not surprise me, although it might you, that I have lived in some 30 something locations to date.

Adapting to new environs has becaome second nature to me so much so, that even though my current address hasn't changed for 16 years, I still move my furniture every time I deep clean my house! I think it makes everything feel new. I also paint my walls every 3 years to recreate the space I call home. Some may think of home as a place where you can rely on things not to change, but in my experience it is the very change that makes me excited!

I have learned that it is not the comfort of the familiar I depend upon for the feeling of "home", more like the comfort of family! As long as I am surrounded by the voices, expressions, and personalities that are such a part of me, I am at home. I am at home when visiting siblings out of state. I am at home when present with dear friends. I am at home with my grandchildren wherever we find ourselves at play. All because I am at home with my Lord and God!

Many followers of Christ look to the future to be "home"after a life of service has ended on this earth! I believe too in a prepared place beyond this world. Except I also believe that we ABIDE in him! Jesus is our home here on earth! We are never without the blessed comfort afforded us by his Holy Spirit. He is a resident in our hearts and minds and continues to allow us to also recognize the outer protection and provision that is supernatural and invisible to the naked eye.

It is Jesus that prepares a precious meal of the bread and cup for me to dine with Him. It is my Lord who laughs and cries with me, it is the Son of God who calls me his sibling! Home is where the heart is , and so having given mine to Christ, He has taken up residence and has rooted me in the community of His love for all those I call brothers and sisters of faith!

Home Sweet Home! John 15" Abide in me and I will abide in you".

Gossip Girl or Gospel Girl?

I admit that for a while, I've been in a bit of a bubble. My concerns and experiences have been of a personal nature. My time spent with intimate friends and family. My energies applied to mostly isolated encounters, one on one chats or encouraging group activities. So as I returned to the workforce this past week ( a huge company) I was not prepared for the petty nuances in the workplace.

My employment is in the health care arena, specifically an assisted living facility. I come into contact with all manner of service oriented workers. And let me first say this, it is a priveledge to be amongst those who serve this country on the front lines (The hardest emotional battlefield of life). Daily facing the enemy of apathy, sacrificing personal space and pride to bring dignity to those who have gone before us and now depend on us down to the most humbling of actions. But, having been in the bubble I forgot how personalities can produce friction when rubbed the wrong way!

The very smallest of actions between co-workers can be fanned into a tremendous flare up when repeated to an itchy ear. The right words can become the wrong ones when a recanting of anothers circumstance is colored with opinion. The observations of a "not clued in" bystander can taint the perceptions of grace in action. Even the introductions to staff can present a jaded history not yet a part of my own experience with that relationship! One week into the job and my head is already spinning! Not because I worry about performance of duties, but because I need to take out the trash that is being dumped all over my heart to serve!!! I must remain dilligent in guarding my heart against the onslaught of this verbal pollution.

I could create allies, team up with those who have the most pull or influence. I could speak out against the behaviors that seem inappropriate. I could even just ignore it all and go about my own business. But if I want to truelly walk in the love and power of God, I must rely on the Holy Spirit to stir me and direct me in each instance. Only God can know the way to my heart, only he can reveal to me how to be effectual to each person that is devinely called to be part of my journey. And only God can reach others through me! So I must become an empty vessel every day, that I might be refilled with the new wine of his spirit, ready to be poured out again and again.

Create in me a clean heart Lord and renew a right spirit within me, cast me not from your presence and take not your Holy Spirit from me!

Story Time

I love to read, as a matter of fact I love it so much that I will even read the dictionary! As I sit here at my computer, I am surrounded by stacks of books I've read and often re-read. The public library is better than shopping at the Mall for me( Actually anything is better then shopping for me!) I can lose myself in the smell of old print and the catagorical presentation of subjects.

I believe this deep connection began in me as a small child in kindergarten. Storytime had me fixated on images and characters from far away places of someones imagination. But the best thing I liked was the voice of the librarian as she made each page come to life. I didn't want to miss one word of text, I always tried to sit in front to view the illustrations up close. I was and still am transported to places and situations that imprint my soul.

When my children were potty training, I used sitting time as a tool to read and reward them for their efforts. We would stay bathroom bound with stacks of books even after the mission was accomplished. To this very day I keep a Bible on the tank of each commode to allow undistracted oppertunity for reading! I have often encouraged friends who need more discipline in daily devotion and Bible literacy to place a copy in the bathroom! We all need to retreat there at some point in our day! And so, the quiet and seperated space can lend itself to a necesary connection with the Word of God. And since I can no longer read my children bedtime stories, I allow them to search scripture by putting it out there where they can help themselves to as much as they want or need.

Now I must say that this practice has been confirmed for me and my household as a valid source of inspiration. Many an epiphany has taken place after a nature call. Truelly it has become a call to a new nature of spirit as well. There are even times when a family member will leave a passage open or marked for the next visitor! This can provide a gentle sharing of the word without confrontation, so to speak. A reminder to place love above all else, a psalm of praise to God to refocus our victories as from him and not ourselves, even a marked parable to help us reorient our path. In few short moments as these, we become re-centered on our real source of knowledge and truth. We are cognisant of trusting God for what we don't have answers for, or we are open to recieve the answers we want to avoid!

The first time I ever read the bible all the way through, I was 20 years old and it was a childrens picture story bible. A gift to my infant daughter upon her dedication in church. I knew that with such an important vow as to train her up in Gods word I needed to understand the power of this written history of Faith. What I realized in having finished this bible storybook was in itself the most incredible portrait of a loving father I had ever seen! My desire to know a real relationship with him has since been through daily correspondence via his precious son Jesus and the letters of the New Testament.

I pray you will burn with such a passion for "storytime" and come as a child to get a front seat.

I Wait by Vanessa Redman Thorp

I wait
I wait for a glimpse of you dear Jesus
I stand in the crowd of those who have heard
you are coming!
Excited, I wait.

I Know
I know you will pass this way my Rabbi
I long to listen to your words of truth,
your teachings.
Open, I wait.

I Cry
I cry ,I weep, I confess
I sob for all I have forsaken, all I've taken
I want to make it right with you
Forgiven, I wait.

I Trust
I trust that you will restore me, make me new
I place my life into your hands
I sense a freedom from all worldly woe
Peacefully, I wait.

I Follow
I follow you, the Great Shepherd
I come into the goodness of your care
I am safely kept in your sight
Sheltered, I wait.

I Praise
I praise you for you are all I need
I sing of all your kindness and love to me
I worship you with all my heart contains
Joyfully, I wait.

I Wait
I wait each new morning for you
I wait throughout the changing days
I wait as years toll upon my face
In your presence, I wait.

Gym Membership

My youngest daughter is a fitness freak! She has always been an energetic and enthusiastic sportsman. She could climb our radiator pipes to the ceiling by eighteen months of age, and has not stopped challenging herself or others since!

Last week she dragged me down to the gym and bought me a membership as a combined gift (she was going to get the power tools I wanted so badly for mothers day and my birthday!) . But the furniture refinishing projects I envisioned, never took place because of time constraints. And so she felt that I needed something more personal to challenge myself and prepare myself for a long and strong entrance into middle age.

I must say that I always thought of myself as an active women. Able to rise to physical feats appropriate to age and energy. Let me also say that my daughter is a sophmore in college with the goal of becoming a Physical Therapist. I think she has targeted me to confirm her own gifts and develope her calling.

The first day at the gym was exciting. I put on the cute new workout clothes she bought me, and looked like I belonged there, ready for action. She gave me a tour, as well as instructions on the cardio programmable equipment. She set me up and patted my back and said "Don't stop, push past the pain, you're stronger than you know". Five minutes into the cycle, I thought I needed a break, but with her at my side I didn't dare slow or quit! She kept a constant verbal stream of encouragement coming my way. She didn't leave me for a second. I wanted so badly to do all she had planned and not dissapoint her because of the tremendous oppertunity she was offering me with this gift! But it was harder then I thought, more uncomfortable then I wanted to endure, more difficult then fun.

After a 30 minute cardio workout, I was beet red in the face, saturated in sweat and panting for water to cool my dried throat. I felt all rubbery in my legs, and cramped in my hands from the death grip I had on the handles, the only thing holding me up those last 10 minutes. After a short time of stretching, I was ready to head home. It was then that she announced "phase 2" of the workout. The cardio was the warmup! She then had me do abdominal crunches in 10 different positions until I could not even pick myself up off the floor. Another short break and "phase 3" weight training!!! I finished all that she required of me and she gave me a big hug and told me I surprised her by keeping pace. The only thing she wanted me to grasp and change was the contstant limits I set on myself. She said" You are telling me that you can't do anymore, and that mindset will stop you from pushing the limits, you can stop when you pass out or throw up, otherwise your body does what YOU tell it to do!"

I must admit I was a bit shocked at the harsh attitude she was presenting with that exhortation. But I was also amazed that I had accomplished more then I ever considered. I was a bit sore, but as she reminded me, "get used to it- no pain, no gain"!

In the book of Hebrews, the 12th chapter, verses 1-3, it says" Let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, on whom our faith depends from start to finish. He was willing to die a shameful death on the cross because of the joy he knew would be his afterward. Now he is seated in the place of highest honor beside God's throne in heaven. Think about all he endured when sinful people did such terrible things to him, so that you don't become weary and give up."(NLT)

I recieve this scripture on so many levels today as I meditate on the current challenges set before me, relational, physical, mental, and spiritual. I know I must keep my eyes on Jesus!! I hear the Holy Spirit calling me to walk on water so to speak, to not just stay afloat but to rise up and move in new ways. To allow my spirit to be free of the earthly laws of physics, in limit setting! I truelly understand that there is a joy that will come AFTERWARD! But the discipline of practicing faith without doubt means you must push through the painful earthly forces. Obstacles, added stress, stretching in new directions, can all seem a bit overwhelming. But you don't go it alone. See the face of Christ encouraging,cheering you on. Hear his excited voice say this is the way walk in it. Feel the gift of his prescence by your side as you push harder against the unholy influences that want to derail you today!

He left us with our own personal trainer- The Holy Spirit , who will reveal all things to us, Praise the Lord!

Him who has ears, let him hear!

We are all created so intricately. Made with intimate details that only a divine benefactor could have installed. We possess certain endowments that help to define us throughout our journey. I have come to know my "special superpower" as hearing!

I know some of you might find this a bit crazy to say the least, but as a child, I was aware of having big ears! They kind of caused me to feel like a taxi cab with the doors left open. I was teased a bit but learned to wear my hair a little fuller around my head so as not to make them appear so prominent. As I grew I also recognized how sensitive my hearing skills were. I was bothered easily by low level noises around me. I could pick up on many different conversations and background disturbances easily! This is a blessing and a curse. On one hand you can be overwhelmed by the things you are not supposed to be aware of , sharp piercing blasts at high frequencies, slight changes in volume, distinct betrayals of actions taking place around you. On the other hand you have a built in sense of connection to activity on a more conscious level than simple observation.

Absolute silence is a gift to someone like myself. It is a rare moment that all is still and quiet. I find that even in the middle of the night the sound of a light switch coming on can awaken me. If a fan is whirling it creates such a distraction from peace in my space. My children used to wonder how I knew everything going on around me when they were out of sight and range, I could hear the change in there voice frequency and fine tune to their words even when behind closed doors.

The practice of finding a quiet place to unload all the activity in my brain became such an important part of my day, that I needed to awaken before dawn and remain up after the house settled to give myself a space and place to rest.

I grew in the " Be still and know that I am God " place. I began to hear Him speak as I emptied all other daily"noise " out in those early sessions. It was His words I would meditate on and wait for! All the stuff on the outside would slip away. And I would relinquish myself to a peace that cannot be found apart from in His prescence.

God Speaks! He has a voice that is soft, it is warm and tender! You can't hear it while internally ranting, you can't hear it when mentally absent, you won't hear it if always distracted. But when you take the time to allow him to have a say, and you are not desiring a - get to the point, one word answer, I think you'll be amazed at the things He truly wants to share with you personally!

Selfish people live sorry Lives

I recently bumped into someone (physically) on my way out of a store. I turned around and said "Sorry" while biting my bottem lip. The face glowered back at me! It was an accident, I was distracted. I didn't do it on purpose I was just in a hurry and juggleing a purse and hot coffee as I focused on my exit. I think we've all been preoccupied from time to time,lost in our own thoughts. It is a natural response to the way we have been conditioned in a fast paced,you snooze you loose society.

Well. the polite way to go beyond the offense is to offer an apology for rude or inconsiderate behavior. But what of those people around us that have adopted an apologetic lifestyle. You know, the friend who is always late, the co-worker that fails to help with their share of respondsibility, the spouse that excuses missed occasions with a to busy calander. Or the family member who just had to put their critisism of you out there in front of others. They all have the same response to disappointing you or making you out as a party to the injury! I'M SORRY! As if it will magically remove them from their selfish action against you.

Maybe As you read this YOU are the one always throwing an apology at some situation to get yourself off the hook quickly. There is a pattern to test yourself with, Do you start with I'm sorry but... or perhaps, I'm sorry I needed... or maybe I'm sorry it's just that.... all this really points to is that you or the offender seek to excuse bad behavior instead of change it! That is the center of selfishness. Seeking your own interests above anothers.

In the book of Proverbs the 28th chapter the 25 & 26 verses it says this; "Selfish people cause trouble, but you will live a long life if you trust the Lord. Only fools would trust what they alone think, but if you live by wisdom you will do all right."(cev)

People who cause trouble are always saying they are sorry. Let me repeat myself, people who cause trouble are always saying they are sorry! People who want to stop causing trouble REPENT! They ask forgiveness from those they have offended, they forgive themselves by confessing their respondsibility to the offense & they recieve forgiveness from God by way of Jesus, The Holy Spirit allows them freedom to turn around their thought life toward a Christ centered WAY of thinking. That is WISDOM!!!!

Living a Spirit led life means not focusing on your own agenda, or schematic , or reason! It means living out each thought with the ambition of bringing God glory and praise. What a man thinks, so he is. If you think of Gods love for you, you can love others. If you think of His kindness towards you, you can be kind to others . If you think of His goodness and mercy toward you, you will become good and merciful to others. It is by bringing His thoughts not ours into our minds and actions that produce the life Christ died to give us. An abundant life filled with hope and joy. Not one we will be "Sorry " for !

Sorry is for small children learning from mistakes. We need to be reminded to grow up to the full stature of Christ as mature men and women! Next time you look to remedy a situation, ask yourself and God what in you must be made right to achieve a mind set that will glorify Him. How can you turn your thinking into a God way instead of a my way highway. Remember most road accidents happen because we are careless or lost in our own thoughts! We choose to make a call on the cell phone, we choose to drive when tired or distracted. Then who is SORRY! Being thoughtful of others will cause us to sacrifice our own selfish desire to get what we want when we want it. It will cost us to regard others as equally important. It will create in us an awareness of consequences to our actions that will help us remember to ask The Holy spirit to guide us and renew us. And again I say to you(v. 25) "you will live a long life if you trust the Lord!"