Music has a way of reaching the primal core of me. I can't seem to decide what genre is my favorite. I match my tunes to my mood or energy level. I have amassed such a variety of artists;classical,pop,r&b, jazz, swing,techno,disco, heavy metal, country, you name it I love it!
I like to change the words to popular tunes to reflect a personal worship message(like they did in the movie Sister Act). I find myself tweeking almost anything on the stereo to offer up my heart to God. I also recieve some lyrics as personal messages of love and blessings just for me from His heart. Music helps me express all kinds of internal energy. I can rid myself of negative feelings by doing some Janis Joplin screeching or by a Nora Jones style deep vocal whispering. Linda Ronstadts"when will I be loved", seems to help empty me of hurt at times that I identify emotional tresspassers,at least it's a starting point.
But the truth be told, when I'm by myself I make up my own tunes and words and just sing out to God! On a few occasions my husband has been woken up during the night by my singing in my sleep!
I can remember as a young girl taking walks and just singing about creation, the trees or birds or sun,it didn't much matter it just felt good. That girl is very much a part of this mature women! There is something about vocal expression that seems to take me to a spiritual place in another realm.Music is truelly the universal language. I bet if we all sang more about good things , we'd fill ourselves up with joy and kindness. We would spend more of our attention on seeing them, then on the negative thoughts we keep to ourselves!
The scriptures tell us to sing and make melody in our hearts unto the Lord our God! It won't matter if you carry a tune in a bucket,it really only matters that you practice vocalizing. Why? Because in heaven we will be surrounded with music, angels singing, alleluias and praises constantly on our lips. Everybody worshipping as one before The King of Glory! Thats a concert I can't wait to attend!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
SisterFriends
I have a broad network of women that I feel connected to. I'm sure you all have those dear people in your life that you know you can go to for various reasons. Some laugh with you, some cry with you. Some shop,eat, chat, pray, celebrate,decorate, work, organize, & sympathize with you. Some love who you love and hate who you hate. And to some you are Mom,Aunt, teacher, neighbor, helper, Grandma, advisor, prophet, priest, or friend.
But certain women grow into "sister-friends". That relationship is more than just a connection, it's a place! Somewhere safe to go when you are in need of a reality check. That special and unconditional friendship that tells you how awful you look in a bathing suit. That wonderful friend that will sit in the middle of your laundry pile just to "catch up" with your latest news. That one in a million -read your mind( right before you lose it), kind of gal pal.
I am fortunate enough to have some of those rare gems in my life. They have reached deep into themselves and offered me a place to grow there close to their hearts. They are never surprised when I just drop in. They are never unable to share their friends with me. They always include me in their extended family activities. I am welcome to travel all their roads with them. Some are well lit, others require holding hands thru dark places. Never the less, I hold them just as closely as they hold me.
There is one woman in particular that had made a pact with me due to her limitations. We promised to always pray for one another, even if the other should decide to go away from the friendship. This woman was and is so dear to me that I could never forget that pact. She suffered from physical abuse that lead her into alchoholism. I was honest with her about getting herself help. I knew that for all the depth we had shared, she and I would not continue on the same road at that time. As a good friend, a loving friend, I had to admit to her and myself that she needed professional care. I could only stand aside and pray. She never said good-bye,but I haven't heard her Hello on the other end of the phone in over 4 years. I sense the loss in my life and hers. But I still believe it was for the best to allow her to figure out how to work through it all. Time has a way of revealing all things. I have learned to longsuffer in prayer over this broken womans struggle.
Perhaps you too know a close relationship that has taken a "humpty dumpty" fall. Once there was joy and closeness. Now there is distance and grief. It can Hurt to the core. It can make you so very angry. It can break your heart. It can make a WARRIOR out of you! Yes , you will need to stay vigilant in prayer! You will need to release the heavenly hosts daily to minister in ways you never could on behalf of this precious life you and God love! Don't doubt that whatever you ask in the name of Jesus isn't already at work to restore and heal the wounds of your dear sister friends! You may not get to see the fruit of a deeply committed prayer pact, but intercession and fasting are the only ways to break strongholds.
I don't want to be so selfish as to pray just so I can regain this person in my life. I want this person to sense that she will never be forsaken and alone again. And only Jesus has traveled the road to Hell and back, Only He has the keys to unlock the chains that bind her. Jesus will hold her hand in dark places even when she doesn't know to ask, I will ask for her!!!
But certain women grow into "sister-friends". That relationship is more than just a connection, it's a place! Somewhere safe to go when you are in need of a reality check. That special and unconditional friendship that tells you how awful you look in a bathing suit. That wonderful friend that will sit in the middle of your laundry pile just to "catch up" with your latest news. That one in a million -read your mind( right before you lose it), kind of gal pal.
I am fortunate enough to have some of those rare gems in my life. They have reached deep into themselves and offered me a place to grow there close to their hearts. They are never surprised when I just drop in. They are never unable to share their friends with me. They always include me in their extended family activities. I am welcome to travel all their roads with them. Some are well lit, others require holding hands thru dark places. Never the less, I hold them just as closely as they hold me.
There is one woman in particular that had made a pact with me due to her limitations. We promised to always pray for one another, even if the other should decide to go away from the friendship. This woman was and is so dear to me that I could never forget that pact. She suffered from physical abuse that lead her into alchoholism. I was honest with her about getting herself help. I knew that for all the depth we had shared, she and I would not continue on the same road at that time. As a good friend, a loving friend, I had to admit to her and myself that she needed professional care. I could only stand aside and pray. She never said good-bye,but I haven't heard her Hello on the other end of the phone in over 4 years. I sense the loss in my life and hers. But I still believe it was for the best to allow her to figure out how to work through it all. Time has a way of revealing all things. I have learned to longsuffer in prayer over this broken womans struggle.
Perhaps you too know a close relationship that has taken a "humpty dumpty" fall. Once there was joy and closeness. Now there is distance and grief. It can Hurt to the core. It can make you so very angry. It can break your heart. It can make a WARRIOR out of you! Yes , you will need to stay vigilant in prayer! You will need to release the heavenly hosts daily to minister in ways you never could on behalf of this precious life you and God love! Don't doubt that whatever you ask in the name of Jesus isn't already at work to restore and heal the wounds of your dear sister friends! You may not get to see the fruit of a deeply committed prayer pact, but intercession and fasting are the only ways to break strongholds.
I don't want to be so selfish as to pray just so I can regain this person in my life. I want this person to sense that she will never be forsaken and alone again. And only Jesus has traveled the road to Hell and back, Only He has the keys to unlock the chains that bind her. Jesus will hold her hand in dark places even when she doesn't know to ask, I will ask for her!!!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Wilderness Experiences
Have you ever been in a situation that seems to lock you up? You know, a landslide of difficulty coming down around you. Well, this week two very dear young women have come to me with similar weight on there backs . These wives,mothers, faith filled friends have been challenged by overwhelming circumstances.
One women is facing an onslaught of attacks in the area of her families health issues, the other faces major conflicts in financial and employment decisions. Both are really being squeezed with a vice grip hold to continue to walk against the white water rapids of discouragement. Carried along this frightening flow of non stop-need a breath-emotional riptide, they ask the same question of God. How long Oh Lord can I hold on to hope?
Do you know that feeling from a time in your own faith journey? I do. I remember it like it was yesterday! Some things we never forget. My church family had just anointed me and six other women to take a vow of prayer and service at a Sunday service. I was so humbled to be a part of this extension of service for the sake of living out my christian vocation. The next day my family headed to visit our daughter in college. In one weeks time, my home was robbed, my dog was in a critical accident, the washer broke down and my small children were having nightmares over the unbelievable havoc our lives became. No sense of continuity, no ability to enter a moment of rest. I was so shaken to the core that I started to fear being alone in my house in case the intruder returned!
I remember my first day alone in the house, I was a strong front for the sake of the kids, but after sending them to school, I felt paralized. I melted into a heap of tears on my kitchen floor and sobbed uncontrollably. I kept crying "Help me God! Help me" .. the phone rang and it was a friend who dropped everything and came to me. She carried my shaky frame back to the kitchen and cradled me like a mother with a newborn. She let me cry and cry and cry as she stroked my head and softly rocked me with gentle shushing. After a long while she reminded me that I was human.
Yes, HUMAN! She told me that my every tear was a deep prayer to God. It was good to release them. It was right to be mindful of my own limits, it was expected that I should be come against after my public confession of Jesus alive in me. Yes Jesus was also in a wilderness where He was tested by Satan. We forget that old Devil still uses the same bag of tricks!
Ladies and gentlemen, It was after her departure that I saw clearly the strategic manipulation of Satan trying to render me useless in Gods service with the booby traps of fear, anxiety and distraction. It gave me a whole new prayer life! I learned to recognize the enemy instantly around various situations and rebuke him and the horse he rode in on!!!!
If you are currently coming up against opposition in your household circumstances, take a moment to see what strongholds are at work against Gods good purposes! Begin to set up a battalion of blessings, gather your warrior bride of Christ girlfriends to pray and worship with and for you, and remember you are human, God is all powerful, jealous for the sake of HIS children! He has given authority to you in the Name of Jesus. You are not alone!!!!
One women is facing an onslaught of attacks in the area of her families health issues, the other faces major conflicts in financial and employment decisions. Both are really being squeezed with a vice grip hold to continue to walk against the white water rapids of discouragement. Carried along this frightening flow of non stop-need a breath-emotional riptide, they ask the same question of God. How long Oh Lord can I hold on to hope?
Do you know that feeling from a time in your own faith journey? I do. I remember it like it was yesterday! Some things we never forget. My church family had just anointed me and six other women to take a vow of prayer and service at a Sunday service. I was so humbled to be a part of this extension of service for the sake of living out my christian vocation. The next day my family headed to visit our daughter in college. In one weeks time, my home was robbed, my dog was in a critical accident, the washer broke down and my small children were having nightmares over the unbelievable havoc our lives became. No sense of continuity, no ability to enter a moment of rest. I was so shaken to the core that I started to fear being alone in my house in case the intruder returned!
I remember my first day alone in the house, I was a strong front for the sake of the kids, but after sending them to school, I felt paralized. I melted into a heap of tears on my kitchen floor and sobbed uncontrollably. I kept crying "Help me God! Help me" .. the phone rang and it was a friend who dropped everything and came to me. She carried my shaky frame back to the kitchen and cradled me like a mother with a newborn. She let me cry and cry and cry as she stroked my head and softly rocked me with gentle shushing. After a long while she reminded me that I was human.
Yes, HUMAN! She told me that my every tear was a deep prayer to God. It was good to release them. It was right to be mindful of my own limits, it was expected that I should be come against after my public confession of Jesus alive in me. Yes Jesus was also in a wilderness where He was tested by Satan. We forget that old Devil still uses the same bag of tricks!
Ladies and gentlemen, It was after her departure that I saw clearly the strategic manipulation of Satan trying to render me useless in Gods service with the booby traps of fear, anxiety and distraction. It gave me a whole new prayer life! I learned to recognize the enemy instantly around various situations and rebuke him and the horse he rode in on!!!!
If you are currently coming up against opposition in your household circumstances, take a moment to see what strongholds are at work against Gods good purposes! Begin to set up a battalion of blessings, gather your warrior bride of Christ girlfriends to pray and worship with and for you, and remember you are human, God is all powerful, jealous for the sake of HIS children! He has given authority to you in the Name of Jesus. You are not alone!!!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
Fighting for Victory
I don't understand why I continue to expect a fair match when engaged in a dispute with a family member. It seems that the old mistakes I've made in the past are shot at me with rapid fire precision. The old saying" forgive and forget" never seems to apply when dealing with mere mortals.
I know God forgave my stubborn will, my faults and my failings according to the confession of my weakness. Those around me seemed to get over it when I asked for their forgiveness also. Yet Satan always stirs up some form of rememberance over past mistakes. I'm so sure I'm not the only one in this world tormented this way!
The scenario seems to go like this.... I'm going along just fine, joyfully accepting the day to day inconveniences and expectations of others, growing in my ability to set boundaries that are healthier then in the past. Suddenly a sarcastic mention of a past foiable is made. Right in the middle of my positive attitude! Thats right, out of nowhere it seems I'm dragged to a time when the spirit of God was retraining me to move in a new and sanctified way. You know, " the pruning season". When there were things in my life that needed to be cut out! It was hard enough back then to hear, imagine how much more painful it is to continue to be identified with old sin!!! And who but the members of my own family fall prey to be used of Satan in my devaluation!!!
And again I must go in my spirit to that strong tower, which is the name of Christ, and hide from the burning arrows of defeat. For me it has become a shorter distance to cross these days. I get there by singing "Who can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus, Who can make me whole again, nothing but the blood of Jesus". I sing this song silently to myself. I sing it LOUD inside my head. I sing it as long as it takes till the attack subsides. And all the while the outside of me stays steady. I keep quiet. I walk away. As Jesus said on the cross" it is finished"!
When Satan reminds you of your past, just remind him of his Future!
I know God forgave my stubborn will, my faults and my failings according to the confession of my weakness. Those around me seemed to get over it when I asked for their forgiveness also. Yet Satan always stirs up some form of rememberance over past mistakes. I'm so sure I'm not the only one in this world tormented this way!
The scenario seems to go like this.... I'm going along just fine, joyfully accepting the day to day inconveniences and expectations of others, growing in my ability to set boundaries that are healthier then in the past. Suddenly a sarcastic mention of a past foiable is made. Right in the middle of my positive attitude! Thats right, out of nowhere it seems I'm dragged to a time when the spirit of God was retraining me to move in a new and sanctified way. You know, " the pruning season". When there were things in my life that needed to be cut out! It was hard enough back then to hear, imagine how much more painful it is to continue to be identified with old sin!!! And who but the members of my own family fall prey to be used of Satan in my devaluation!!!
And again I must go in my spirit to that strong tower, which is the name of Christ, and hide from the burning arrows of defeat. For me it has become a shorter distance to cross these days. I get there by singing "Who can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus, Who can make me whole again, nothing but the blood of Jesus". I sing this song silently to myself. I sing it LOUD inside my head. I sing it as long as it takes till the attack subsides. And all the while the outside of me stays steady. I keep quiet. I walk away. As Jesus said on the cross" it is finished"!
When Satan reminds you of your past, just remind him of his Future!
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
In the mist
I just returned from a 4 day get away to the Hampton Beach area of Long Island, New York. Upscale restaurants, Boutique Shops & huge private estates seem to dominate the quaint little villages and charm the senses.
We'd been blessed by a relative who shared their summer home with my sister, brother in law, husband and I. The house was all ours! A beautifully restored historic "Gate House". It was situated on a full acre of property,maintained impecably by gardeners, a housekeeper and other various laborers. The inside was exclusively appointed by a professional designer. The guest rooms were charming and luxurious. The pantry and refridgerator were stocked with anything and everything one might desire to eat or drink. We were welcomed to share in all the hospitable provisions of our dear hostess.
God called me to fast!! Can you believe it? Well it's true. I felt lead to abstain from eating from sun up to sun down. (We had dinners at about 8;30 pm) .I was also called to retreat to a quiet place alone and search out scripture, pray & worship. I never stepped foot in the sand or shopped or even dressed on one day there. But I did however enjoy the greatest retreat of my life.
The men went fishing, or sight seeing as my sister & I shared our meditations each morning.
The word was opened up to us and spoke directly to our spirits. We were more hungry and thirsty for the things of God during our time there than for food or drink. And I understand how Jesus went to a garden to pray,even plead on behalf of the weakness of human struggle. A garden makes time stand still, it empties you of distractions in view of the delicate way God himself reveals His mysteries. It is a place that grows your ability to renew faith and trust. It's just you and The King of all the universe. Everything shrinks before the majesty of His creation.
The last day there, I awoke to find a fine mist rolling over the area. I went outside far behind the house to the private pool. The mist covered me with a cool and refreshing touch without leaving me damp, the air was humid and warm like a towel right out of the dryer. I listened to the water bubble in the pool next to me and I just rested in the whole and Holy presence of God like a weaned child on it's mothers lap. I was filled up with tender love. Gods love. The kind that after emptying yourself out finds enough room to make a home. The kind that causes you to love yourself as God does. The kind that brings strength into the weak places of your body , soul and heart. The kind of love that we were meant for! Not just for a moment but for eternity.
It is hard to fathom how the Lord moved on my behalf to place me in such a location for nothing, at such a time when I could not have done this thing for myself. To recieve true riches in the land of the "rich and famous". To be satisfied beyond food & drink, to have His peace as a reminder that this is "living the dream"! Waiting on the Lord-Knowing his goodness toward us extend to the farthest reaches.
We'd been blessed by a relative who shared their summer home with my sister, brother in law, husband and I. The house was all ours! A beautifully restored historic "Gate House". It was situated on a full acre of property,maintained impecably by gardeners, a housekeeper and other various laborers. The inside was exclusively appointed by a professional designer. The guest rooms were charming and luxurious. The pantry and refridgerator were stocked with anything and everything one might desire to eat or drink. We were welcomed to share in all the hospitable provisions of our dear hostess.
God called me to fast!! Can you believe it? Well it's true. I felt lead to abstain from eating from sun up to sun down. (We had dinners at about 8;30 pm) .I was also called to retreat to a quiet place alone and search out scripture, pray & worship. I never stepped foot in the sand or shopped or even dressed on one day there. But I did however enjoy the greatest retreat of my life.
The men went fishing, or sight seeing as my sister & I shared our meditations each morning.
The word was opened up to us and spoke directly to our spirits. We were more hungry and thirsty for the things of God during our time there than for food or drink. And I understand how Jesus went to a garden to pray,even plead on behalf of the weakness of human struggle. A garden makes time stand still, it empties you of distractions in view of the delicate way God himself reveals His mysteries. It is a place that grows your ability to renew faith and trust. It's just you and The King of all the universe. Everything shrinks before the majesty of His creation.
The last day there, I awoke to find a fine mist rolling over the area. I went outside far behind the house to the private pool. The mist covered me with a cool and refreshing touch without leaving me damp, the air was humid and warm like a towel right out of the dryer. I listened to the water bubble in the pool next to me and I just rested in the whole and Holy presence of God like a weaned child on it's mothers lap. I was filled up with tender love. Gods love. The kind that after emptying yourself out finds enough room to make a home. The kind that causes you to love yourself as God does. The kind that brings strength into the weak places of your body , soul and heart. The kind of love that we were meant for! Not just for a moment but for eternity.
It is hard to fathom how the Lord moved on my behalf to place me in such a location for nothing, at such a time when I could not have done this thing for myself. To recieve true riches in the land of the "rich and famous". To be satisfied beyond food & drink, to have His peace as a reminder that this is "living the dream"! Waiting on the Lord-Knowing his goodness toward us extend to the farthest reaches.
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